Dimitri iz da Man - Ch 7
Setting: Aleyandro and Dimitri are sitting on a broken tree trunk called "trunks" besides a river called "riverside". These two have gone through a lot which have tested their patience and friendship and how much shit they can take from each other.
[On the sincere request of Aleyandro we are not going to make him go through the name changing regime in this episode. His name for all further references in this episode is Antonio Bartolini or simply Bartolini. I promise he will return next time in a confused state.]
here we go...
Bartolini: [keeping his hand over Ds hand] Man we have gone thru a lot...
Dimitri: eww...take off ur hand...dont ever do that again...Dont touch me...
Bartolini: [taking his hand away. In the mind of his hand: boy that skin is so soft..hmmm...]Hey man we are Braadre Paruuush..(subtitles: brothers in arms)
BHAMM!!!!!!BOOM!!!Bim!!!!
At this critical juncture with all the sound works enters our protagonists's nemesis - STEVEN. he is surrounded by a bunch of guards wearing Uncle Sam;s Pizza outfit and also there she is Anya. She is hot leather pants gorging on the quarter pound of cheese burger. Boy she looks hot..
Bartolini: [baffled] Anya....[tears in eyes..she looks beautiful even when she is eating.]
Dimitri: [baffled-2] Steven...wat u doing here...and who are these ppl...and wat is she doin over here
Steven: Pardon my rudeness...i had eaten some shitty mexican stuff....[BHAMM!!!]..lets finish off the intros...the person standing behind me is Joe, the person standing next to him is Jasper...Person behind Jasper on the right of Joe is Jason, Jack is standing on Jason's left...John is totally behind all of them...and to answer ur other question Anya is wid me..she has betrayed the classified agency she was working for...
Dimitri: U stupid or something....
Bartolini: Ma mamma says stupid is what a stupid does...
Steven: Enuffffffffffffffff.....enuff of ur jibber jabber....I am here to take u hostage...U see u r outnumbered..outweighted and outsexed....
Bartolini:[laughs out..in his mind: lol..]haahahhaaa...LOL STEVEN LOL
Steven: Wait till i take u to my base den LOL Bartolini LOL
Dimitri: Lets' cut to the chase...Wat will u get by kidnapping us...i am sure none will pay indian nickel to u...
Steven: Not everything is about money...sometimes sex..ehh...revenge comes first...
[At this critical juncture Anya comes and lands a blow on Bartolini's face....Bartolini falls down pretending to get hurt so that he might get some random acts of kindness from Anya.. ]
We all now wat happened next...they were outnumbered, outweighted and outsexed....
So here they are in Steven's den..its location is not known even to google Maps. Its hidden and top secret.
Bartolini is all tied up in a chair with some electrodes lying near his feet. Dimitri is tied to the pillar.
Bartolini: [shit scared] No Dimitri...dont u faaking kill ma man...Steven dont touch him
Dimitri: U dont havta beg for me....
Bartolini:[teary eyed]Braadre Parrooosh....[subtitles: brothers in arms]
Steven: U call him ur bro...barto..U dont even know him....
[Sound of super duper suspense unfolding sequence]
Dimitri: NO steven dont tell him...he will not be able to bear it....kill him but dont tell him [in his mind: he is no use anyways...but he cant know my lil secret]
Steven: HAHAHAHAHAHA...HAHAHAHAH.....HAHAHAHAH....HAHAHAHAH.....AHHAAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...AHHAHAHAH
Bartolini: Shut up and talk...u killin me...i will die of anticipation [in his mind: Wat's D's lil secret...is he gay? is he jew?]
Steven: hahah..no he is not jew....in fact he is not a he..he is a SHE...
Dimitri: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[in his mind:faak the cat is out of bag]
Bartolini: WAT THE....
Bartolini is still he is not moving..Anya has come in front of him and belly dancing...he is not moving....is he alive..has Steven's evil plan of taking over the world taken its first toll....will Bartolini get a burial or will he be cremated....who will take his will....??...to answer all these questions read further...go on....
Bartolini:[gasping for breath..in his mind: WAT THE]
Bartolini is not movin...Anya has entered the scene in a red and white polka dot thong...he is not moving....Meanwhile..A volcano erupted in Las Vegas killin every gambler that was there...Brad and Angelina got sterile...Sylvester Stallone spoke "Mamma" clearly....
Dimitri: Ok ok...its not that big a issue..
Bartolini: I dont trust u Steven....Dont worry Dimitri..i know u r a HE.
Steven: [in his mind: U son of a B. u dont trust me..ehh...u faaking want to see a proof...ok u will get one....]
he goes and rips apart Dimitri's shirt.
Bartolini: [Screams] NO
Steven: See....theres no hair...
Bartolini: [baffled] is that all u havta show me...this proves nothing....i can;t see any bushes on ur body either Steven .....[Footnote from author: Did i forget to mention that Steven was obessed wid his body and roamed arnd widout a shirt?]
Steven: Dude havent u seen flat chicks...
Bartolini: [Screams in his mind: faaking Hefner always kept me silicones away from reality]NOOOOOOOOO....
Bartolini cries feeling betrayed by the person whom he trusted more than his life.
Bartolini: He is not a HE...he is a SHE..Dimitri...y?? y?? y did u not tell me??
Dimitri:[in his ,mind: fucking pervert]Man..Braadre Paroosh
Bartolini: [Screams]NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...dont call me ur brother...
Dimitri: Faak u
Bartolini: Kill me....i was that close and i didnt know...i was that close to do it....i did not do it...Steven i beg u kill me...
Steven: Joe boy..do this man a favor...
Joe: [Like a Zombie] Yes what can i do for u Mr. Bartolini??
Steven: No u retard...kill this man....
Joe: But u told me to do him a favor...
Steven: Faak U JOe...it was a metaphor...I saw it in Sin City - Chapter 1
Joe: Well Mr. Steven I did not see it...and what's a metafir?
Steven: Jasper...Jasper....Faaking Jasper...kill Bartolini and Joe...
Jasper: But Joe's my brother...
Steven: [in his mind: Faaaak....][bam! bam!- fires two shots- Bartolini is dead and so is Joe]
Jasper: [in his mind: He faaaking killed my bro] U faaking killed my bro...
Bam! Bam!! Bam!!!...everyone starts shooting every other man in the room. Dimitri and Anya are the only ones standin alive coz they were woman...
Anya: [looking at Dimitri:] Sisterrre Parooosh....
Anya kisses Dimitri passionately and......
--- The END
-- Quentin Tarantino (age -8)
[On the sincere request of Aleyandro we are not going to make him go through the name changing regime in this episode. His name for all further references in this episode is Antonio Bartolini or simply Bartolini. I promise he will return next time in a confused state.]
here we go...
Bartolini: [keeping his hand over Ds hand] Man we have gone thru a lot...
Dimitri: eww...take off ur hand...dont ever do that again...Dont touch me...
Bartolini: [taking his hand away. In the mind of his hand: boy that skin is so soft..hmmm...]Hey man we are Braadre Paruuush..(subtitles: brothers in arms)
BHAMM!!!!!!BOOM!!!Bim!!!!
At this critical juncture with all the sound works enters our protagonists's nemesis - STEVEN. he is surrounded by a bunch of guards wearing Uncle Sam;s Pizza outfit and also there she is Anya. She is hot leather pants gorging on the quarter pound of cheese burger. Boy she looks hot..
Bartolini: [baffled] Anya....[tears in eyes..she looks beautiful even when she is eating.]
Dimitri: [baffled-2] Steven...wat u doing here...and who are these ppl...and wat is she doin over here
Steven: Pardon my rudeness...i had eaten some shitty mexican stuff....[BHAMM!!!]..lets finish off the intros...the person standing behind me is Joe, the person standing next to him is Jasper...Person behind Jasper on the right of Joe is Jason, Jack is standing on Jason's left...John is totally behind all of them...and to answer ur other question Anya is wid me..she has betrayed the classified agency she was working for...
Dimitri: U stupid or something....
Bartolini: Ma mamma says stupid is what a stupid does...
Steven: Enuffffffffffffffff.....enuff of ur jibber jabber....I am here to take u hostage...U see u r outnumbered..outweighted and outsexed....
Bartolini:[laughs out..in his mind: lol..]haahahhaaa...LOL STEVEN LOL
Steven: Wait till i take u to my base den LOL Bartolini LOL
Dimitri: Lets' cut to the chase...Wat will u get by kidnapping us...i am sure none will pay indian nickel to u...
Steven: Not everything is about money...sometimes sex..ehh...revenge comes first...
[At this critical juncture Anya comes and lands a blow on Bartolini's face....Bartolini falls down pretending to get hurt so that he might get some random acts of kindness from Anya.. ]
We all now wat happened next...they were outnumbered, outweighted and outsexed....
So here they are in Steven's den..its location is not known even to google Maps. Its hidden and top secret.
Bartolini is all tied up in a chair with some electrodes lying near his feet. Dimitri is tied to the pillar.
Bartolini: [shit scared] No Dimitri...dont u faaking kill ma man...Steven dont touch him
Dimitri: U dont havta beg for me....
Bartolini:[teary eyed]Braadre Parrooosh....[subtitles: brothers in arms]
Steven: U call him ur bro...barto..U dont even know him....
[Sound of super duper suspense unfolding sequence]
Dimitri: NO steven dont tell him...he will not be able to bear it....kill him but dont tell him [in his mind: he is no use anyways...but he cant know my lil secret]
Steven: HAHAHAHAHAHA...HAHAHAHAH.....HAHAHAHAH....HAHAHAHAH.....AHHAAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...AHHAHAHAH
Bartolini: Shut up and talk...u killin me...i will die of anticipation [in his mind: Wat's D's lil secret...is he gay? is he jew?]
Steven: hahah..no he is not jew....in fact he is not a he..he is a SHE...
Dimitri: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[in his mind:faak the cat is out of bag]
Bartolini: WAT THE....
Bartolini is still he is not moving..Anya has come in front of him and belly dancing...he is not moving....is he alive..has Steven's evil plan of taking over the world taken its first toll....will Bartolini get a burial or will he be cremated....who will take his will....??...to answer all these questions read further...go on....
Bartolini:[gasping for breath..in his mind: WAT THE]
Bartolini is not movin...Anya has entered the scene in a red and white polka dot thong...he is not moving....Meanwhile..A volcano erupted in Las Vegas killin every gambler that was there...Brad and Angelina got sterile...Sylvester Stallone spoke "Mamma" clearly....
Dimitri: Ok ok...its not that big a issue..
Bartolini: I dont trust u Steven....Dont worry Dimitri..i know u r a HE.
Steven: [in his mind: U son of a B. u dont trust me..ehh...u faaking want to see a proof...ok u will get one....]
he goes and rips apart Dimitri's shirt.
Bartolini: [Screams] NO
Steven: See....theres no hair...
Bartolini: [baffled] is that all u havta show me...this proves nothing....i can;t see any bushes on ur body either Steven .....[Footnote from author: Did i forget to mention that Steven was obessed wid his body and roamed arnd widout a shirt?]
Steven: Dude havent u seen flat chicks...
Bartolini: [Screams in his mind: faaking Hefner always kept me silicones away from reality]NOOOOOOOOO....
Bartolini cries feeling betrayed by the person whom he trusted more than his life.
Bartolini: He is not a HE...he is a SHE..Dimitri...y?? y?? y did u not tell me??
Dimitri:[in his ,mind: fucking pervert]Man..Braadre Paroosh
Bartolini: [Screams]NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...dont call me ur brother...
Dimitri: Faak u
Bartolini: Kill me....i was that close and i didnt know...i was that close to do it....i did not do it...Steven i beg u kill me...
Steven: Joe boy..do this man a favor...
Joe: [Like a Zombie] Yes what can i do for u Mr. Bartolini??
Steven: No u retard...kill this man....
Joe: But u told me to do him a favor...
Steven: Faak U JOe...it was a metaphor...I saw it in Sin City - Chapter 1
Joe: Well Mr. Steven I did not see it...and what's a metafir?
Steven: Jasper...Jasper....Faaking Jasper...kill Bartolini and Joe...
Jasper: But Joe's my brother...
Steven: [in his mind: Faaaak....][bam! bam!- fires two shots- Bartolini is dead and so is Joe]
Jasper: [in his mind: He faaaking killed my bro] U faaking killed my bro...
Bam! Bam!! Bam!!!...everyone starts shooting every other man in the room. Dimitri and Anya are the only ones standin alive coz they were woman...
Anya: [looking at Dimitri:] Sisterrre Parooosh....
Anya kisses Dimitri passionately and......
--- The END
-- Quentin Tarantino (age -8)
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